One more session with my therapist and I shall be ready to take on the world. I have to say that at the beginning I wasnt sure that CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) was gonna work out. After all I have had 20 years with this problem, how can less than 20 sessions possibly rid me of my OCD, or even come close to reducing the problem? And how can someone so obviously much younger than me possibly give me any therapy, (a fact of life that as you age everyone in a postion of trust is suddenly only 12).
Well of course OCD never goes away, like any disorder it is always there in the background, and certain aspects come in useful, such as cleaning, and liking things in order, neat, tidy. But suprisingly it has worked and life has certainly gotten better for me over the last few months. I now have the strategies to deal with my problem when it flares up in the future, because I have no illusions that it will magically go away, and I know that in times of stress I will want to revert to old habits and rituals.
At the risk of sounding like an Oscar acceptance speech, there are people I want to thank for supporting me through all of this, and of course for the anticipated help I will need in the coming months. Sometimes it was just a quick text to see how I was doing, others "talked me down" from cleaning the roof tiles (you think Im joking but Im not). Others gave me the tools to live my life with this disorder, not allow it to continue to dictate what I could and couldnt do.
Right Im off to clean.....just kidding, back to bed I think.
The Ladybird
Saturday, 11 June 2011
Wednesday, 8 June 2011
Toxic People
It takes all types to make the world. Not a new concept obviously, and one that I have become very aware of over the years.
But there are some people who are just too toxic to your psyche, who by just being around them make you feel ill, stressed and iching to get away from. Life is like that for me at the moment. I have been unfortunate to have suffered a spate of ill health recently (well over 8 months actually). Whilst I just thought it was me, or rather my immune system, I have come to realise it is more the environment I am in and the people I am around.
Put it this way, when I am away from this toxic arena I feel well, energised and ready to take on the world. But put me back there and I am sneezing and coughing, headachey and sick. And this is not limited to myself. Other people have suffered the same symptoms.
So whats the answer? Well take myself out of the environment obviously. Since I made this decision I have felt a lightness of mood and my health has improved. Nothing can now sway me from my choice, and I feel well again for the first time in months. I still have stressed days (but murder is not an option LOL), but knowing I have a plan and there is light at the end of the tunnel makes the days fly by.
So if you are in a toxic environment, make a seachange, dont get stressed GET OUT.
The Ladybird
But there are some people who are just too toxic to your psyche, who by just being around them make you feel ill, stressed and iching to get away from. Life is like that for me at the moment. I have been unfortunate to have suffered a spate of ill health recently (well over 8 months actually). Whilst I just thought it was me, or rather my immune system, I have come to realise it is more the environment I am in and the people I am around.
Put it this way, when I am away from this toxic arena I feel well, energised and ready to take on the world. But put me back there and I am sneezing and coughing, headachey and sick. And this is not limited to myself. Other people have suffered the same symptoms.
So whats the answer? Well take myself out of the environment obviously. Since I made this decision I have felt a lightness of mood and my health has improved. Nothing can now sway me from my choice, and I feel well again for the first time in months. I still have stressed days (but murder is not an option LOL), but knowing I have a plan and there is light at the end of the tunnel makes the days fly by.
So if you are in a toxic environment, make a seachange, dont get stressed GET OUT.
The Ladybird
Sunday, 5 June 2011
Harriett
I have been asked why I dont have a pet to keep me company now I live alone. Well a sad tweet today made me reflect on the passing of beloved pets. I lost my lovely dog on Christmas Eve 2009, she was 14 years old.
We took her home when she was 5 weeks old, the quietest puppy in the kennel, which should have been a warning for us there and then. because Harriett was anything but quiet. A mix of a Labrador and Australian cattle dog, she spent the next 14 years rounding us up and creating havoc in the home. She stole biscuits right of your plate, and woe betide you if you didnt go to bed at a reasonable time, she would bark at you until you climbed those stairs.
Harriett hated storms and would sit right on your lap or the arm of the chair for protection, she would go to the front door at the exact moment your car turned into the street after work (how she knew exactly when I was getting home I will never know). After a shakey start she grew to love swimming, although she was hopeless at body surfing and had to be rescued from the surf a couple of times, and she loved nothing better than a McDonalds ice cream.
She was protective of us and we loved her to bits. When the time came to say goodbye, I was back in the UK and she was with her other mum in OZ. I said goodbye to her over the phone, and whilst that was hard for me, I can only imagine what it was like in Australia.
I could never bring myself to have another pet since then, because they really are for life (not just christmas), and saying goodbye is just too painful.
The Ladybird
We took her home when she was 5 weeks old, the quietest puppy in the kennel, which should have been a warning for us there and then. because Harriett was anything but quiet. A mix of a Labrador and Australian cattle dog, she spent the next 14 years rounding us up and creating havoc in the home. She stole biscuits right of your plate, and woe betide you if you didnt go to bed at a reasonable time, she would bark at you until you climbed those stairs.
Harriett hated storms and would sit right on your lap or the arm of the chair for protection, she would go to the front door at the exact moment your car turned into the street after work (how she knew exactly when I was getting home I will never know). After a shakey start she grew to love swimming, although she was hopeless at body surfing and had to be rescued from the surf a couple of times, and she loved nothing better than a McDonalds ice cream.
She was protective of us and we loved her to bits. When the time came to say goodbye, I was back in the UK and she was with her other mum in OZ. I said goodbye to her over the phone, and whilst that was hard for me, I can only imagine what it was like in Australia.
I could never bring myself to have another pet since then, because they really are for life (not just christmas), and saying goodbye is just too painful.
The Ladybird
Who or what is the Ladybird?
Well me actually. One of my favourite things to do is read. Now at first it was just books, but since I have discovered the full power of the internet it now includes reading peoples blogs. I absolutely love reading about other peoples. Oh I dont mean the nitty gritty of it all, but there is a certain voyueristic quality in all of us that wants to find out what is going on in other peoples lives. In my mothers day it was the twitching of the net curtains to see what the neighbours are up to.The internet age allows us to cybertwitch (ooh new word) on a global scale.
I generally dont leave a reply on these blogs unless something peeks my interest, or annoys the heck out of me enough to leave a strongly worded comment. But I have been inspired by a couple of these blogs (written by women) that I felt it was time to write my own. Part of my therapy for my OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) was to set some long term goals, writing more for pleasure was one I decided would be therapeutic. So this is it. I have no idea what it will include yet, there will be links, there may be pictures, you might even get some inspiring words from me. Lets just wait and se shall we.
The Ladybird
I generally dont leave a reply on these blogs unless something peeks my interest, or annoys the heck out of me enough to leave a strongly worded comment. But I have been inspired by a couple of these blogs (written by women) that I felt it was time to write my own. Part of my therapy for my OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) was to set some long term goals, writing more for pleasure was one I decided would be therapeutic. So this is it. I have no idea what it will include yet, there will be links, there may be pictures, you might even get some inspiring words from me. Lets just wait and se shall we.
The Ladybird
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